Jump on it!

If you’ve ever seen an adorably chubby baby, poked at its pudgy fingers and numerous jelly rolls around the thigh and neck area, kissed its dimply elbows and knees, pinched its festively plump cheeks, and thought to yourself, “Gee, this baby could stand to lose a little weight,” I’ve got two pieces of news for you.

1. You’re an awful human being.

2. There’s a remedy for it. Simply throw the kid into a Johnny Jump-Up, and it’ll be on the fast track to weight loss in no time!

Mom and Dad bought me a Johnny Jump-Up a few months ago, and it has quickly become my favorite way to pass the time. I honestly have no idea how a kid my age could climb into one of these and not go absolutely bonkers jumping around in it. Before you know it, you’re working up a sweat, and you can feel the pounds just melting off of you. [Editor’s note: Please ignore the fact that Eliza has gotten heavier and chunkier over the past few months. Besides, we like her that way.]

Here’s just a little bit of footage of me getting my daily aerobic workout in.

You’ll notice how close I come (several times) to hitting my head on the doorframe. Apparently, Mom and Dad were too busy laughing at me to make sure I didn’t go careening off course, leaving it up to me to corral myself. That’s some top-notch parenting.

Anyway, take a look at that video and tell me you wouldn’t want to play in an adult-sized Johnny Jump-Up.

Update: Turns out, YouTube was initially blocking my video because the music playing in the background (on Mom's iPhone sitting on the floor) is copyright-protected. So we had to replace the audio with random YouTube-approved music (it's Beethoven – I'm classy that way), which is why you can't hear Mom and Dad laughing at me, or any of my babbling. Haunting, isn't it? Feel free to add your own internal sound effects.