OK, I did it. Are you happy now?

I like to think I live a pretty eventful life for a baby. I’ve met interesting people, seen exotic places (OK, I went to Mexico while Mom was three months pregnant and I was the size of an apple, but it still counts), and I recently threw my binky a full five feet.

So although I’ve done a lot of exciting things in my short life, the one thing I hadn’t done yet was roll over. It’s been my white whale. Or, rather, it’s been my parents’ white whale, since all the books (I hate those books) say babies should be rolling over by around five months, with many doing it a month or so earlier than that.

Now that I’m six months old, I can tell that it has become a sore spot for them. They have tried so many things to get me to roll over. Mom tried placing $20 bills around the floor (as if I even know what those are) to tempt me, and Dad gave me endless pep talks. Both would get really excited when I’d kick my legs and roll onto my side, only to watch me roll back to my comfy position moments later.

The secret that I would never tell them is … I’ve been able to roll over for about a month now, but I just didn’t want to. I don’t really see the point of it. Tummy time is extremely uncomfortable – like going for a three-mile run on a hot day after drinking a half gallon of milk – and I can already see everything I want to see while I’m lying on my back, so why bother? Several times, I’ve thought I was alone in the room and would roll halfway, getting ready to go all the way, but then I’d hear them talking about me from the kitchen, watching me. As soon as I knew I was being watched, I rolled back onto my back. Nice try, Mom and Dad. I’m not here to entertain you.

But after weeks of torturing them, I decided to throw them a bone last Tuesday night. We were having such a wonderful evening of playing, followed by a light snack of sweet potatoes, that I decided I’d give it all I had and…





You have never seen two people more excited. You’d think I had just split the atom while riding a dolphin bareback. My parents are so cute at this age.

So that’s it for milestones right now – or so I thought. I figured this would get Mom and Dad off my back for a while, but now they tell me I need to work on sitting up. It never ends with these people.

Are you not entertained?!