Avoiding the Two-Month Uglies

Occasionally, my mom uses a phrase she calls "The Two-Month Uglies." Apparently it's her theory that, due to some strange glitch in the developmental process, babies start looking a little weird after two months of life. This lasts for about a month, and then they get back to their normal cute selves.

So why am I telling you this? Well, yesterday I officially turned three months old. That means I'm now safely out of Two-Month Ugly territory. And looking back on the past month, I consider myself pretty fortunate, seeing as I never suffered from this terrible affliction. I bucked the odds and looked adorable throughout the entire month, never once looking ugly.

Nope. Not a single goofy-looking photo of me exists. Guess I was one of the lucky ones.

Nobody told me there'd be snow

I've seen a lot of things in my life. Well, actually, I haven't. I'm not even three months old yet. But I still consider myself somewhat worldly. Despite that, I had no idea what snow was until Sunday morning, when several inches fell in Seattle. Dad, always an Eastern Washington boy at heart, was super excited. I found it interesting for all of about 10 seconds.

After that? Not so much.

We're supposed to get as much as 10 more inches tomorrow. Maybe it'll grow on me.

Who is your daddy, and what does he do?

If there’s one constant in a baby’s life, it’s being told repeatedly how adorable you are. On the certainty scale, it’s right up there with death, taxes and Greg Oden’s bad knees.

Make no mistake, of course – I love hearing it. And I don’t disagree. I’m pretty cute. But every time I hear it, it gets me thinking. Sure, I get plenty of my good looks from my mom, but what about my dad? I mean, there’s no way that this guy…

…could produce a good-looking child, right? Right. And I’m a good-looking child; ergo, this man can’t be my father.

About a month-and-a-half ago, I pointed out my physical similarities to one Tom Brady, at least in the chin department.

Could he be my real father? Perhaps. But before I go slapping him with a paternity suit in the middle of the playoffs, I thought I’d do some research and exhaust all possibilities of who my father might be. And I can’t imagine a more scientific way than using Google Image Search to find people who bear a passing resemblance to me.

Let’s begin!

Randy from "A Christmas Story"

Moses

The Dormouse from "Alice in Wonderland," due to my skill for being able to fall asleep anytime, anywhere

The Elf on the Shelf

John Lennon

Anybody who's ever competed in a potato sack race

Gene Simmons

E.T.

Major Toht from "Raiders of the Lost Ark"

You know, now that I think about it, I can’t imagine any other person, besides my dad, who would waste an entire evening searching the Internet for these photos like I just did. So maybe there really are some similarities between the two of us. And, after all, I do have his nose. And his chin. And his eyes. And his ears. And his freaky-long toes. Yeah, I think I’ll stick with him.

How I spent my first Christmas

This past Sunday was Christmas Day. You may have heard or read something about it. Like I said in my previous post, I spent Christmas with Dad's family over in Kennewick. Rather than bore you with any ramblings about how my very first Christmas went, I thought I'd just share with you some of my favorite photos from our family time. Enjoy!

Some quality time with Grandpa and my cousin Addison.

Cousin Madeline, Auntie Heather and cousin Addison. From the time we got to Kennewick on Dec. 22 until Auntie Heather and Uncle Brian left on Christmas Eve, I'm pretty sure I spent about 97% of that time in Auntie Heather's arms. And I loved every minute of it.

Since Auntie Heather and Uncle Brian went home on Christmas Eve, we opened presents two days early, on Dec. 23. As you can tell from the photo, I wasn't exactly sure what to think of this doppelganger I received from Grammy and Grandpa.

Nobody loves wrapping presents more than my Auntie Carri. Obviously she couldn't get enough, so she moved on to Addison (who definitely didn't mind).

With all the dogs we had in the house this year (it was these three, plus another who was too shy to have her photo taken), I felt like the Old Man in "A Christmas Story" trying to deal with the Bumpus Hounds.

Speaking of "A Christmas Story," we all watched it after opening presents. Grammy and I made it about 20 minutes before we passed out. From what I've been told, the only people to watch it to the end were Dad, Uncle J and Madeline.

Here I am with Dad (who happens to be sporting a pretty creepy grin), getting ready to head to church for Christmas Eve service. And yes, I'm quite aware of how cute I look in my church clothes -- hence the smirk on my face. That hat, by the way, was a present from Auntie Heather and Uncle Brian.

Here I am with Dad (looking a bit more human) and Mom after getting home from church. Yep, that's Mom's homemade Santa hat perched on my head.

Christmas morning is finally here! I celebrate with a nice little fist pump. And in case you're wondering, that outfit is just as comfy as it is adorable.

After a fun day at Grammy and Grandpa's and an excellent dinner at Auntie Carri and Uncle J's, I was pretty tuckered out, so I went to bed early. Good thing, too -- we were on the road at 6 a.m. on Dec. 26 to get to Redmond to celebrate with Mom's family.

This year, instead of getting each other gifts, we did a White Elephant exchange. One of the presents was a pack of steaks. My cousin Brooklyn was a big fan.

My cousin Jackson got a little too creative when it came to make-your-own-pizza.

Getting cozy with Brooklyn and my Uncle PJ. And yes, I'm still wearing the outfit I wore the day before. Don't judge me.

Grandpa (we call him Grumps) devised a fun game using some hose, bowling pins and oversized marbles. As much as we enjoyed it, I think he had more fun with it than anybody else did.

Anyway, Christmas definitely lived up to the hype. Lots of fun with both sides of the family, a good haul of presents (no pony this year, but maybe next year), and plenty of time spent with Mom and Dad, since Dad had a few extra days off work.

I'm already looking forward to next Christmas, but until then, I hear there's another holiday on the way in just a day or two. I've got my two-month checkup this morning, and then it's off to Lake Cavanaugh to celebrate New Year's with some friends.